Chickenpox
by Jemascola
Summary: Beavis and Butt-head get the chickenpox but don’t even realize it.
1. Acne

**Chickenpox**

_**By Joey**_

**Summary:** Beavis and Butt-head get the chickenpox but don't even realize it.

**Author Notes:** I do not own _Beavis and Butt-Head_, its characters, or any copyrighted material.

**Chapter 1: Acne**

The golden yellow sun rose over the city of Highland one Monday morning. Everyone in town prepared to start another long week consisting of either work or school. The weekend had passed far too quickly for most people. And that included Beavis and Butt-head as well.

The previous Friday, Beavis and Butt-head were relieved to return home. Without thinking, the two boys pounced on the couch and turned the TV on and watched music videos, infomercials, and other TV shows all day long. To their delight, many lame music videos aired, and they enjoyed ridiculing them. They were the lamest videos they had ever seen in a long time, and they were happy to see something they could make fun of for a change. Beavis and Butt-head's lives revolved around making fun of things. Later in the evening, they went to the Maxi-Mart and bought some hot nachos. Butt-head farted really loudly while eating, and Beavis cackled so loudly that he choked on a nacho. It took three whole minutes before Butt-head even thought about doing anything. Finally, a chick that Beavis and Butt-head both deemed as "hot" came to Beavis's rescue and gave him the Heimlich maneuver. Beavis and Butt-head both made feeble attempts to "score" with the young woman, but she gave them both a hard slap on the face and walked indignantly away. Even though Beavis and Butt-head were upset that they didn't get to hang out with the woman, it was still an incredibly memorable experience for them because nothing like that had happened to them in months. Once they were both back home, they realized just what a great evening they had.

During the weekend, Beavis and Butt-head spent more time in front of the TV instead of doing anything else. They didn't feel like doing anything physically active, and they seemed a little more sluggish than usual. However, neither of them really seemed to think much of it. As long as they were well enough to continue making fun of lame music videos, they knew that all was well.

Monday finally came, and the time had come for Beavis and Butt-head to return to school. Butt-head was half asleep, but he could still hear the shrill sound of the alarm clock buzzing through his ears. Without thinking, Butt-head shoved the clock off the night stand, which stopped the alarm from annoying him. Butt-head fell asleep once more, but he didn't get much extra sleep. About ten minutes later, Butt-head started to open his eyes and woke up completely. His bed was so warm and cozy, and he didn't want to go to school. Butt-head decided to miss school and turned over on his side to fall asleep.

That's when he heard Beavis shriek in the bathroom at the top of his voice. "_Aghhh!_ Butt-head, Butt-head, come here!" he shouted.

With an annoyed grunt, Butt-head forced himself out of bed and stepped into the bathroom feeling rather miffed. "What is it, dumbass?" Butt-head snapped. Beavis was standing in front of the bathroom mirror in his underwear looking at himself in shock. Dozens of bright red pock marks were scattered across Beavis's entire body. He kept scratching himself all over. Just then, Butt-head's eyes widened in shock. "Whoa! Beavis, you've got like, a million zits all over you. Uh huh huh huh," said Butt-head.

"You think I don't know that, butthole?" snapped Beavis. Beavis then stared at Butt-head. "Whoa! You've got a lotta zits, too!" he exclaimed.

"What are you talking about, dillweed, no I don't," said Butt-head.

"Yeah you do! Look in the mirror," Beavis said.

Butt-head looked in the mirror and gasped when he saw that he too had a lot of zits. "Whoa! Uh huh huh huh. Cool! They're everywhere. Uh huh huh huh."

"How the hell am I going to go to school with all these zits? And they're really itchy too. _**I can't stand it!**_" he cried.

"Dude, shut up," Butt-head said as he gave Beavis a firm slap across the cheek. "I think they make stuff that like, get rid of zits," Butt-head said.

Beavis's tone of voice lightened when he heard that. "Heh heh, really? Heh heh."

"Yeah, dude, let's just go to the Maxi-Mart and get some of that stuff for you," Butt-head said. He then realized that his own "acne" was itchy, so he started to wildly scratch his skin. "Uh, on second thought, we'd better both get this stuff. "I've got it really bad too."

Beavis then reached into his underwear and started scratching. "Hey, heh heh, I think I got acne on my schlong, too. Heh heh heh," Beavis said.

"Huh huh huh," Butt-head chuckled, obviously amused, "you've got acne on your dick. Uh huh huh huh."

"Yeah, yeah, heh heh heh," Beavis laughed. Both Beavis and Butt-head stood in the bathroom snickering their heads off for a whole minute before leaving for the Maxi-Mart.


	2. Back to School

**Chapter 2: Back to School**

Beavis and Butt-head arrived at the Maxi-Mart fully dressed a few minutes later. They snickered while entering the store and continued to scratch their skin. The boys wandered up and down the aisles and tried to look for acne products, but the process went very slowly because they were both poor readers and could not read the labels of the products very well. Other shoppers that were near them gasped in shock when they saw that Beavis and Butt-head were out in the open with a very contagious disease. The shoppers immediately fled the store, and thanks to Beavis and Butt-head, every other customer had evacuated the premises in less than a minute.

The boys were bent down and tried to read the labels on some products. Beavis handed Butt-head a container of 10W-30 motor oil. "Hey Butt-head, heh heh, what's this say?" Beavis asked.

"Uh…huh huh, it says like, 'One-oh-double-you-dash-three-oh m..._ow_…tor oh-I-l.' Um…I think it's like that stuff that you can rub your face with, and it makes it all smooth and stuff."

"I guess this would do the trick, right? Heh heh," Beavis said hopefully.

"That'll do it, Beavis. Uh huh huh huh," Butt-head said.

"Heh heh, you said, 'do it.' Eh heh heh heh heh," Beavis snickered.

"Yeah. Huh huh huh. That was cool. Huh huh huh," Butt-head said.

Beavis and Butt-head then approached the counter ready to buy the container of oil. The clerk's eyes bulged when he saw all the bright red pock marks on Beavis and Butt-head. "Uh, we wanna buy this to help our horrible acne," said Butt-head.

"What the hell are you boys doing walking out in public like this?" demanded the clerk angrily.

"Well, we needed to come to the store to get rid of our acne, so I guess we really didn't have any choice," Butt-head said.

"Don't you guys get it?" the clerk asked, sounding exasperated.

"Um, heh heh, yeah, we've got bad acne, and we look really bad. And in order to make it go away, we need to buy some of this," Beavis said, holding up the 10W-30 oil.

"That's motor oil, you idiots!" snapped the clerk. "That's not going to get rid of your so-called acne!"

"It's not? Huh huh," Butt-head questioned.

"No! Now get out of my store before the juices from your blisters contaminate it!" the clerk demanded as he pointed towards the direction of the door.

"Uh…okay," Butt-head said. Beavis and Butt-head set down the 10W-30 and walked back outside. "That guy was a dork," Butt-head said.

"Yeah," Beavis said. The two boys continued snickering for a little bit. "So, heh heh, shouldn't we be like, in school or something? Heh heh," wondered Beavis.

"Yeah, I guess. Uh huh huh huh," said Butt-head.

The two walked all the way to Highland High School and walked up the steps and entered the building. They walked down the halls and entered Mr. Van Driessen's biology class. All the students gasped when they saw Beavis and Butt-head. Mr. Van Driessen was at the blackboard writing and had his back turned to the class, so he didn't notice Beavis and Butt-head. As the two walked past other students' desks, they heard people mumbling, "Thank goodness I've already had the chickenpox," and "Please get away from me!" Beavis and Butt-head sat down in the back of the class in their usual seats and started goofing off.

"Hey, Beavis. I heard that if you pop zits, you can make them go away," Butt-head said. "Uh huh huh huh."

"Really? Heh heh heh. That's cool! Pop my zits!" Beavis exclaimed.

Beavis and Butt-head snickered as Butt-head squeezed one of Beavis's pock marks. A large number of students in the class were no longer paying attention to Mr. Van Driessen and instead were watching with fear and fascination at Beavis and Butt-head's antics. Butt-head was causing Beavis a lot of pain by squeezing his pock mark, and Beavis couldn't stand it anymore. "_**Ow!**_ That hurts, Butt-head!" squealed Beavis.

"Hold on, assmunch, I'm not done yet," Butt-head said, still applying a lot of pressure to the pock mark. Finally, he did manage to squeeze a lot of fluid out of the pock mark, but Beavis was in a lot of pain, and the pock mark was still noticeable.

"_**Agghhh!!!**_" cried Beavis. "_**Stop it, asswipe!**_" he demanded. By this point, everyone in the class was staring at Beavis and Butt-head, including Mr. Van Driessen. He looked horrified at the sight of both Beavis and Butt-head with so many pock marks.

"_Oh my gosh!_ Now, Beavis and Butt-head, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you both to leave right now, m'kay?" Mr. Van Driessen said.

"Uh…okay," Butt-head said. "Uh huh huh huh." Beavis and Butt-head approached the door to leave the class.

"Now boys, do you understand why I'm asking you to leave?" Mr. Van Driessen asked. He briefly shut his eyes. "Don't you understand that you're contagious, and I'm assuming that there are some people in this classroom that have never had…" Mr. Van Driessen continued but then quit talking when he realized that Beavis and Butt-head had already left. He then turned his attention to the class and said, "We're going to have to get you all medical attention immediately," he said.


	3. ¡Usted muchachos tiene la varicela!

**Chapter 3: ¡Usted muchachos tiene la varicela!**

**Author Notes: **If the Spanish in this chapter is incorrect, please let me know. I used an online translator, so it may not be correct. Thank you.

Beavis and Butt-head sulked as they walked down the halls of Highland High School. "That was stupid," Butt-head said as he scratched his skin. "We had to leave class just because we had acne," he snorted. "Uh huh huh huh."

"Yeah, heh heh," said Beavis. "Let's go see what that Spanish teacher's up to. Heh heh heh."

Beavis and Butt-head walked into Mr. Herrera's classroom and went to the back of the classroom. Nobody seemed to notice Beavis and Butt-head enter the classroom. Mr. Herrera was speaking in Spanish, and to Beavis and Butt-head, the sounds he made sounded like gibberish. Both of the boys started snickering, and they tried to imitate Mr. Herrera by speaking gibberish with a Spanish-sounding accent. It was then that the students turned their heads to the back of the room and gasped when they saw Beavis and Butt-head. Mr. Herrera stopped teaching as well and was shocked to see Beavis and Butt-head as well.

"¡Señor Beavis y Señor Butt-head! ¿Qué estás haciendo aquí?" Mr. Herrera shouted in shock.

"Uh…huh huh huh…" Butt-head said. "Could you like, stop talking gibberish and talk normal?" Butt-head asked in a rather irritated voice.

"¡No hable a mí de esa manera!" ordered Mr. Herrera.

"Uh, Butt-head, heh heh, I can't understand a word this guy's saying. Eh heh heh heh!" Beavis said, scratching his skin.

"¡Usted muchachos tiene la varicela!" yelled Mr. Herrera.

"Whoa, cool!" Butt-head said.

"Do it again, do it again!" shouted Beavis. The boys continued snickering, but they didn't snicker as quickly as they normally would, as they were too busy scratching themselves. "_**Aggh!**_ _**Aggh!**_ It itches so bad!" cried Beavis.

"Uh huh huh huh," chuckled Butt-head. "You look like a wuss, Beavis. Uh huh huh huh," Butt-head said as he continued scratching his own body frantically. "Man, this acne really sucks. Uh huh huh huh."

"_**¿Acné?**_ ¡Eso es no acné, imbéciles! ¡Usted tiene varicela!" yelled Mr. Herrera.

"Come on, Beavis, let's get out of here. This guy's pissing me off. Uh huh huh huh," said Butt-head.

"Yeah, yeah. Heh heh heh," said Beavis. The two got up and continued scratching themselves. However, before they could go, Mr. Herrera grabbed them.

"Come on, boys, we need to take you to the nurse and send you home," he said.

"No way, dillweed!" Butt-head said and smacked Mr. Herrera. "We're not gay. We don't want to have sex with you. If you try to take us home with you, then we'll charge for sexual harassment."

"_**What?**_ No, no, that is not my intention…" Mr. Herrera tried to explain.

"Come on, Beavis, let's get out of here. Uh huh huh huh," Butt-head said. Beavis and he then ran as fast as they could out of Mr. Herrera's classroom.

"Come back here!" called Mr. Herrera. He chased Beavis and Butt-head down several halls.

"**Agh!** Stay away from us, you child molester!" cried Beavis. "Heh heh."

"Quick, Beavis, let's hide in the bathroom. Uh huh huh," suggested Butt-head.

Mr. Herrera continued chasing Beavis and Butt-head down a few more hallways, but suddenly, he couldn't find them anymore. Like magic, they were both gone! There wasn't a trace left of them. Mr. Herrera scratched his head in confusion. He shrugged his shoulders and went to alert the nurse that Beavis and Butt-head had the chickenpox.

Meanwhile, Beavis and Butt-head were in the bathroom in one of the stalls snickering and scratching their skin very frantically.

"Well, it looks like we got rid of that gay Spanish teacher. Uh huh huh huh," snickered Butt-head.

"Yeah. Heh heh. Now what do we do? Heh heh," said Beavis.

"Uh…let's go see Buzzcut. Uh huh huh huh huh," said Butt-head.

"Um, heh heh, yeah, okay. Heh heh," said Beavis. The two snickered for another second or two. "Hey, heh heh, how come there aren't any urinals in this bathroom?" asked Beavis.

"I don't know. Huh huh," said Butt-head.

Just then, the door opened, and three girls came in. "_**Oh my gosh, girls in the boys' bathroom!**_" screamed Beavis. A big, toothy grin stretched across his face, and his entire body started to vibrate. "I'm getting a stiffy! _**We're gonna score!**_ Eh heh heh heh!" he screeched loudly.

"Settle down, assmunch!" Butt-head said, smacking Beavis. "Don't you know what this means? We're in the girls' room, not the boys' room!"

"Uh…heh heh…oh yeah…heh heh," said Beavis.

The girls had been overhearing Beavis and Butt-head's conversation and were freaked out by the fact that there were boys in the girls' restroom. They all screamed at the top of their lungs and then banged on the locked stall door. "_**Get out of here right now, you freaks!**_" screamed one of the girls.

Beavis and Butt-head unlocked the door and opened it and snickered ever so much. The girls screamed once more when they saw that Beavis and Butt-head were scratching themselves and that they had a severe case of the chickenpox.

"Boi-oi-oi-oi-oing!" Beavis said when he saw the girls.

"Hey, baby. Huh huh. Come to Butt-head," Butt-head said in a sultry voice.

"_**Agghh!!!**_" screamed the girls, who ran out of the bathroom in a panic.

Beavis and Butt-head then wandered out of the stall. "You think chicks hate dudes with acne? Heh heh. Maybe that's what scared 'em off. Eh heh heh heh," said Beavis.

"Yeah, that's probably it. Uh huh huh huh," said Butt-head. "We gotta get rid of this damn acne. Uh huh huh huh."

"Hey, let's go see Buzzcut. Heh heh," said Beavis.

"Uh…okay. Uh huh huh huh," said Butt-head. Beavis and Butt-head then left the girls' restroom and walked down the halls of Highland High School to find Mr. Bradley Buzzcut's classroom.


	4. Going Home

**Chapter 4: Going Home**

Beavis and Butt-head found the door to Mr. Buzzcut's room. As they entered the class, they noticed that Mr. Buzzcut was teaching algebra. He explained the procedures to solve an equation in a very loud voice and scolded students who solved a problem incorrectly.

Like Mr. Van Driessen, he had his back turned to the class, and he was writing on the board. He didn't notice that Beavis and Butt-head had come in. The two continued scratching their skin frantically, and they made noises of frustration as they did. Other students looked very paranoid at the sight of Beavis and Butt-head with chickenpox. They tried to scoot as far away from them as possible. Suddenly, one student blurted, "Mr. Buzzcut, sir, Beavis and Butt-head are here!"

"_**What!**_" roared Mr. Buzzcut. He turned around and saw the two troublemakers in the back of class snickering and scratching madly at their skin. "_Beavis and Butt-head, what are you doing here? Don't you know that you are extremely contagious?_"

"Uh…extremely what anus?" Butt-head asked as he scratched some pock marks on his left arm.

"_You boys are sick! You must go home now, or you will contaminate any student in this room who has not had chickenpox!_" roared Mr. Buzzcut.

"Chickenpox? No, asswipe, we don't have chickenpox – we have a really bad case of acne. Eh heh heh heh! We tried to cure it this morning, but that dumbass at the Maxi-Mart said it wouldn't help us. Eh heh heh heh!" Beavis said.

"You imbeciles!" shouted Mr. Buzzcut. "You do not have acne! You have a very severe case of the chickenpox! I order you both to go to the nurse and then to return home immediately!"

"Uh…okay. Uh huh huh huh," Butt-head said. "Come on, Beavis. Let's go to the nurse. Uh huh huh huh."

A few minutes later, Beavis and Butt-head were seated in the nurse's office. The nurse was taking their temperature and trying to contact Beavis and Butt-head's parents. Unfortunately, the nurse was unable to contact the boys' parents, so she assumed they could return home without any problems. The thermometers beeped, indicating that they had finished taking the boys' temperatures. The nurse took them out of Beavis and Butt-head's mouths and looked at the thermometers.

"Well boys, you both have a fever of 103 degrees. You'd better get home right away. Now, I recommend seeing your doctor as soon as possible, and in the meantime, try to get plenty of rest and take oatmeal baths to relieve the itching," the nurse said.

"Cool," Butt-head said.

Then, Beavis and Butt-head sang in unison, "Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh!"

"Hey, Beavis, huh huh, I just realized something. Uh huh huh," said Butt-head.

"Heh heh, what?" Beavis asked.

"If we have the chickenpox, then that means that we can't go to school. Let's have chickenpox every day so that we can't go to school anymore. Uh huh huh huh!" Butt-head said.

"Whoa, heh heh, cool!" Beavis said. Beavis and Butt-head continued snickering for another minute before the nurse had them go home.


	5. Get Well Soon

**Chapter 5: Get Well Soon**

About two weeks passed before Beavis and Butt-head were nearly back to normal. Their pock marks had crusted over, and a large number of them had finally fallen off. The boys felt a lot better than they did several weeks earlier, and they felt about ready to return to school…even though they didn't really want to. They decided to stay home for about another week before going back.

Finally, one week later, Beavis and Butt-head's pock marks were just about gone. They were rather disappointed about it because it meant they had to go back to school.

"Man, this sucks. Eh heh heh heh. Now we gotta go back to school. Heh heh," said Beavis.

"No, we don't have to go back to school, dillweed. I've got an idea. Uh huh huh huh," said Butt-head.

The boys snickered as Butt-head took a red marker and put large red dots all over their bodies. When he finished, the boys went to Highland High School and went to Mr. Buzzcut's classroom.

"Ah, Beavis and Butt-head. I see your chickenpox is gone now. I suggest you get in your seats and make up all the work you've missed!" Mr. Buzzcut said.

"Uh…what are you talking about? Uh huh huh. We're still sick," Butt-head said.

"Yeah, yeah, check out all these red bumps and blisters. Eh heh heh heh heh!" cackled Beavis.

"_**Shut up!**_" thundered Mr. Buzzcut. "I know that you are lying. That is _**not**_ chickenpox! You just put a lot of red dots on yourselves with markers! Now sit down and get to work!" Mr. Buzzcut ordered. Beavis and Butt-head sat down in their seats, and Mr. Buzzcut gave them each a three-foot-high stack of papers. "Start working, _**now!**_" ordered Mr. Buzzcut.

"Man, chickenpox sucks," Butt-head said.

"Yeah, yeah. Eh heh heh heh," Beavis said. The two boys continued to snicker as they finished all the work that they missed during their absence.

**The End**


End file.
